Down the drain....

There it goes. Down the shower drain. My hair.

It started today.

Yesterday, I took a shower and washed my hair... no big deal.
Today, I showered and found that I was shedding more hair than any animal that I'd ever seen.

How do I handle this? I tried my wigs on again...

I am incognito.
Undercover.
A secret agent.
Mission Impossible.

That, my dear, is not Brenda Austin. That is some freak in a wig (and sunglasses).

What do I do now? Do I cry. I took another shower, and cried.
I was home with only the girls, and I didn't want them to hear me freaking out. So, I freak out under the cover of my shower noise.

I was supposed to go out and meet some friends tonight. I don't want to leave the house.
My depression was bad enough. I'm gaining weight because I feel too sick to exercise much of the time. When I don't feel to sick, I finally feel well enough to actually eat, so that is what I do.

Depressing....

I've gone from 145 pounds to 168 pounds since October. I have almost reached my 9-month pregnancy weight!
I am bored. I have nothing to do all day, except to listen to the pounding in my head (construction upstairs) and read or sit at the computer.
My friends all work, so I have nobody to talk to all day.

Then, I think... if I had someone to talk to, what would I talk about?
Me?
My depressioin?
My soon-to-be-baldness?
My cancer?
Chemo?
My friend that has a much worse diagnosis than I do?

All the friends I'm making lately are cancerous. That's supposed to be supportive? That's what they keep telling me. While they're great people, I just want to run away, screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes.

Sadly, because there is nothing outside of my medical situation really going on right now, I have nothing to talk about. Grrrr....

And now I'm losing my hair.
And I look like a freak in a wig.
Tim's advice? Buy more beanies, because my head will get cold.
Thanks, hun.

Don't mind me. Today (obviously) is not one of my "good" days. Maybe tomorrow will be. We'll see!